A Good Innings

Good evening John. Lovely to be here. Although I should point out – you’re not actually here, are you? No. No. That would in fact be the case. Where are you? Well, Brian, I am, as they say, six feet under, soon to be pushing up daisies or possibly waratahs, and other cliches of the […]

Like Uber For Chocolate

John has a box in front of him. Good evening, everyone. Joining us tonight is John, and he’s brought his new invention along. Good evening Brian. So, John, what is it you’ve invented? Well, Brian, I call it a Liberal Party. Liberal Party, I see. And what does it do? Well, you put votes in […]

In Which a Youth is In Danger of Radicalising

John is inexplicably wearing sunglasses indoors. Well, Malcolm? Well? Haven’t you got anything to say for yourself? (shrugs) Jobs and growth. Malcolm. That’s not good enough. Well, what? What do you want? I want to know what’s going on. Nothing’s going on. Well, if nothing’s going on then why are your grades slipping, hmm? It’s […]

America’s Sweethearts

There appear to be two versions of John. They speak over the top of each other in a horribly twee manner. Good evening, Malcolm, Bill, lovely to see both of you. Thank you. Thank you so much. It’s all been a bit of whirlwind I bet? All the press? All the excitement? Oh yes, very […]

A Key Issue of Timing

Good evening, welcome to the show. Thank you, Brian, a pleasure, a great pleasure. And your name is? Wit. Wit, hello. And what’s your last name, Wit? Shunter. Great. And what do you do for a living, Wit? I’m a senior policy advisor to the Australian Labor Party. Really? Is that exciting work? It’s very […]

The Hon Member for Fiddlingwhyle-Roamburns

Greg Hunt, thanks for your time. Thank you and good evening, Brian. Now, as you are the Minister in charge of the Department for Horse Retention, I’d – Well, no, Brian, let me stop you there, see – That’s not who you are? It is my great honour to represent that ministry, Brian, yes, but […]

A Problem of Hormones

Ms Wong. Penny. Sit down. (sulkily) Sir. Now, I’ve had some reports that you’ve been bullying. NO SIR IT WAS THEM THEY DONE IT – Stop it. Just stop it. I’ve got Richard in there, crying his eyes out. He says you threw pinecones at him and rubbed dirt in his hair. (mumbles) Well he […]